By Donna Thomas

Violence Intervention Project

As a new manager, I often asked my boss for advice on how to handle staff infractions of the rules. One infraction by one staff member was beginning to affect several staff. Naturally I heard the rumblings but thought the behavior would change under peer pressure. How WRONG I was. As lateness, sexual innuendos, and pushing responsibilities onto others persisted, I sought advice from my boss.

She spoke loud and clear: “What you permit, you promote.” Since then I have carried that advice with me at home, at work, and in all relationships. Years later, I can still hear her: “What you permit, you promote.”

I realized everyone needed to know the rules and also the consequences if rules were broken – both at work and home. Some infractions are minor, and counseling is the first line of trying to change negative behavior. If a person continuously verbally abuses, it often leads to physical abuse. The question then becomes, how much to permit, knowing the behavior will be promoted if there are no consequences?

Fear of retaliation may keep some people in unhealthy relations. Guilt may affect the decision to stay or leave. How will other family members be affected if I leave? How will I be affected without a job? Where do I go? Hear the echo: “What you permit, you promote.”

Whether the abuse is in the workplace or at home, we all want and need a safe haven. Life is difficult at times, but seeing a light at the end of a dark tunnel may encourage you to seek positive action. Be true to yourself.

Violence Intervention Project works tirelessly to be your beacon of light. Hear the echo: “What you permit, you promote.” Reach out. Call 920-837-2424.

Help support VIP’s new Golf Outing Fundraiser on Sept. 29 at Royal Scot Golf Course and Supper Club, 4391 Church Road, New Franken.

Donna Thomas is a board member of Violence Intervention Project.